Mom's Last Christmas, 2013

A large poinsettia gifted to mom.

December 25th, 2013 would be my mother's last Christmas with us. None of us really knew this, but specialists diagnosed her cholangiocarcinoma that March, and after a failed "whipple" surgery (also known as a pancreaticoduodenectomy), they gave her three months to live.

Here it was, Christmas, and she was still going. Not strong--more like bullheaded. We let her sleep in, and we tried to keep the mood up, but mom probably was thinking this was her last Christmas, too. She was determined to make Christmas brunch, and it was delicious, but she was in a puckish mood.

She loved Christmas more than any other holiday. She made ceramics like the one of Mary on a donkey with Joseph leading her to try to find an inn for the night. She had ornaments gathered over the years, including some her parents used when she was young. When we were kids, we made a big deal out of going out "in the woods", mostly likely Huston's Farm in Davidsville, Pennsylvania, to chop down a tree. As my siblings and I aged into out teens, the folks went for a fake tree, but it was a big one.

By the time 2013 rolled around, the tree was the tiny one shown here. And, the gifts dwindled. But that tree skirt...she had that for years, and I think she made it herself. My daughter has it now. Mom and dad decorated the tree that year, and it was finished by the time my husband and I arrived for the holidays.

I don't remember if we had oyster stew for breakfast. That was a tradition mom carried through from her childhood. Her father would splurge on oysters and make the stew. I don't remember mom making it for us when we were kids, truly, but I do know she seemed to be drawn to it during the last few years of her life.

Can't have Christmas without cranberries in a can! That was a tradition, too. I don't know where it came from, but my daughter doesn't carry it on because her family members are picky eaters.

I still have those placemats and table runner, I think. I know I have the Fiestaware, which was our everyday plating. She didn't get out her special china she received when my parents married. I have all that as well. And, the Corningware. Part of me wants to hold on to it all, but my daughter doesn't want it, and my brothers have no children to pass it on to, so I imagine it's all going to end up on eBay at some point.

Ten years after her death, the letting go is getting easier. I have a lot of photos, and I hope they might be enough to relay a story of what our life was like to future generations. Because that's what all this story-telling is about. Purging for me, sharing for my grandsons when they're old enough to understand, and for others who are going through the same thing.

The furniture is gone. I donated it all to Habitat for Humanity. This table was solid wood, as were the chairs, and it was the dining room table that my siblings and I grew up with. Talk about difficult to let go...but at least I didn't have to let it go for another six years, when dad died in 2020.

Just trying to remember,

25 December 2024

The Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation's Candles for the Cure

On December 3rd, join the Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation in honoring those impacted by cholangiocarcinoma through their Candles for the Cure campaign. Each gift lights a virtual candle, symbolizing the person you honor while supporting critical research, providing resources, and offering hope to patients and families facing cholangiocarcinoma.

I ran a campaign for this organization for my birthday. The goal was $250, and I raised close to $300. People want to give if they know the organization is meaningful to you. No better person to help raise money than those who have received knowledge and learning support from this foundation.

Give what you can to Candles for the Cure. Together, we can brighten the path toward a cure.

A Bittersweet Story

Noor Ayesha, her husband, and daughter.

"The fight to save the life of a young Kitchener, Ont. woman has come to a sad end

"Noor Ayesha died Sunday after battling the rare and deadly cholangiocarcinoma, better known as bile duct cancer.

"The 26-year-old gave birth in February 2023, shortly after her Stage 4 diagnosis. Ayesha had hoped to extend her life so she could spend as much time as possible with her baby daughter. A drug, called Pemigatinib and sold under the brand name Pemazyre, was key to achieving that.

"As it wasn’t covered in Ontario, the community rallied to help cover the drug’s $15,000 per month price tag.

"Just last month, there was a breakthrough in the Ayesha’s fight for the cancer drug.

"The province finally decided to fund the Pemigatinib on a case-by-case basis.

'“This came from promising new, real-world evidence as well as patient and family advocacy that prompted the manufacturer to make a resubmission to the CDA-AMC for the treatment of Cholangiocarcinoma (CCA),” read a statement from Hannah Jensen, a spokesperson for the Minister of Health."

Read More: Kitchener, Ont. woman with incurable cancer dies, fight continues to get provincial funding for expensive drug treatment

Daniella Thackray Leaves Heartbreaking Message on LinkedIn

 

This is a heartbreaking story, as people as young as 25 aren't supposed to die from cholangiocarcinoma. What a brave woman, what a short life. Before she died, Daniella Thackray wrote:

If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember.

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.

Daniella added: ‘I really really do hope that in the years to come more research is done about this horrid cruel disease so that more lives can be saved.