30-Day Organization Challenge, or How I'm Dealing with "Stuff"

One corner of the room -- and this was after I had already moved some boxes.

Caregiving.com started a 30-Day Organization Challenge for members on November 1. Denise is providing daily prompts for folks who want to follow along and spend 15 minutes per day organizing a purse, a mud room, bills and receipts (which would take me three months alone!), or under the kitchen sink. Members also have a choice to pick another project to organize. Since I knew I'd spend more than 15 minutes per day on most of the prompts, I decided instead to tackle one large project.

I couldn't move far enough into the room to capture the entire mess in one corner.

Since we're trying to work together on projects, I approached my husband about this organization challenge. He makes beautiful hand-made baskets and he could bring in income with these baskets if he had a larger space to work with. For the past two years he was stuffed into a corner of our bedroom, with no room to work at all.

The chifferobe? It's for sale (local only)!

I suggested that we clean out the 'spare' bedroom that isn't a bedroom at all. As you can see from the photos, this room is a catch-all for my clothes as well as for my mother's things that I'm salvaging from my parents' home. The room was, on day one, so dysfunctional that I couldn't find clothes to wear. For the past five days now -- every day this month -- my husband and I have spent approximately 15 minutes per day moving things back and forth between our bedroom and that spare bedroom. You wouldn't believe the difference already!

The books are mine -- but most of them will go up for sale on Amazon. That's just one bookshelf out of ten in this house. A little bit of a nutty obsession -- each book I own has a story behind it.  The clothes? They belonged to mom. What the heck am I doing with them? I'll figure it out...

This project could have been a daunting task, but with my husband's help it's coming together quickly. At this point we're just moving things back and forth, though. The task of going through all the boxes and organizing things is going to take the rest of the month, I'm sure.

I'll post "after" photos when we're done. Then we can tackle the living room, which is almost 1/4 filled with more boxes from the folks' house. Oy.

When are Support Groups Helpful?

When do you know when to connect with other individuals who share your diagnosis or your situation? It's up to you.

I found a great cholangiocarcinoma (CC) support group when I was at dad's house last month. The support group is a "closed" group on Facebook, which means that only members can see and respond to messages on that group's page. As far as I can tell, the group consists of patients and caregivers (current and "after care"), although this non-denominational group also welcomes medical professionals and students.

I never sought out a support group while caregiving mom, because I felt that I was getting the answers I needed from various reliable resources. Also, once I was a full-blown caregiver, I never had time to seek support. I was too busy with mom's appointments, her medications, the tasks we had to schedule (like saline flushes for her bile duct catheter), with my own work, and with my own well-being.

Looking back, I'm not sure I could have tolerated a support group, because I was on a short fuse many times. I did check a few of those groups out, and I wasn't ready. Lighthearted entertainment was not my cup of tea during my tenure, and I sure didn't want to hear about hope when we knew we had no hope with mom's case. I also didn't want to hear about bad news when I knew the news was anything but good for us (some folks will understand this logic!).

I will say I'm more than ready for the Facebook support group now. Now, I have something to share, especially with newcomers to the group who -- on almost a daily basis -- are reporting a loved one recently diagnosed with stage four CC. I'm learning a lot about this disease from patients who have been exposed to treatments that my mother couldn't tolerate with her physical condition. I'm also learning that patients often know more than their doctors and oncologists about their conditions.

I'm somewhat sorry that I denied myself the support of a group during my mother's diagnosis and death, but I did share everything with my friends on Facebook. Believe me, I don't know what I would have done without my friends' support. And, at the time, my friends were far more substantial in their support for me than a stranger's support. Now, however...

I seem to find more support among other caregivers and CC patients than I do among my friends. I don't know why this sea change occurred after mom's death, but I'm sure a lot of this disconnect has to do with my push to finance a space of time to finish my memoir. So commercial! At the same time, I also think that friends have only so much tolerance for death and dying.

And, it's for that latter reason that I find support groups so attractive these days. There's something about a finite boundary on life that brings out the honesty, support, and love that happens nowhere else but within a support group. In that environment, I feel I can share my tears, inappropriate laughter or comments (and find immediate forgiveness), and fears.

If you feel you need a support group, seek one out. So many support groups exist for all types of cancers as well as for caregivers. I'm not sure if this link will work for the CC support group at Facebook, but give it a shot: https://www.facebook.com/groups/CHOLANGIOCARCINOMAsupportGroup (if this link doesn't work, please let me know via Facebook).

For caregivers, I recommend Caregiving.com. This is a great space for folks who are caregivers to spouses, siblings, and friends who suffer from a myriad of physical impairments. Denise will probably meet you at the door. Please tell her I sent you!

Contest!

Friday marks the beginning of a new phase in my project campaign. This time YOU can receive monetary benefits from a merit-based referral contest. This contest is designed to increase contributions to my project, and you can also win a gift credit card to use as you wish.

1. I'll provide one $100 VISA card to the person who brings in the most contributors to my campaign at any level, no matter the dollar amount. For instance, if you have 500 contributors at $1, you could win this prize for your efforts.
2. I'll provide a second $100 gift credit VISA card to the person who brings in the highest dollar amount, no matter the number of contributors. For instance, if you bring in one contributor at $1,000, you could win this prize for your efforts.
3. Finally, I'll provide a $50 gift credit card to the person who brings in the the most referrals, period. You deserve a prize for working so hard! For instance, if you bring in 550 referrals, but none of them contribute, you can still obtain this card

To learn more, visit the Contest Page on this blog (listed in right-hand column). NOTE: Only one prize per person, so at least three people must compete for all prizes to be awarded for your efforts.

Still Time to Compete...

This is a screenshot of the leader board on the dashboard on Saturday at 2pm. I didn't post on Friday, because it appeared nothing has changed over the past week except a few names and the fact that I brought in more money (and I'm not competing). So, you still have plenty of time to sign up and gain interest -- view the referral contest information and follow the rules to win by November 24th.