Cancer, Caregiving, Contentious Love Book Trailer...

Yeah -- well. I'm pretty stoked about the results of the trailer. Michele Larocque of Deep River finalized the work today, and it's up at the Cancer Caregiving, Contentious Love fundraising site, YouTube, and Vimeo...and, people are sharing it all over Facebook. It's a gorgeous piece of work, and Michele dreamed it all up.

The music? That's another story altogether, and I'm planning to tell you about it before the end of the week. Let's just say that I've been blessed by Michael Smith, a neighbor. He's downright genius with a big heart.

Here's the trailer:

Time to Give Thanks

I haven't thanked anyone since my October 1 post, where I thanked many artist, writer, poet, musician, and photography friends for their monetary, emotional, and physical support. So, a quick post today to catch up on all those individuals who have stepped up since the beginning of the month...

First, a huge thank you and gratitude to the authors, editors, and publishers who read my memoir excerpt and offered their words of praise and encouragement: Many thanks to Mara Eve Robbins, Kim Jacobs, Janeson Keeley, S. E. Ingraham, and Tony Acree. I've posted their reviews on this site.

If you're a blogger, author, editor, or publisher and you'd like to write a (hopefully positive) review of this memoir's excerpt, don't hesitate to contact me via Twitter or Facebook.

Now for the donors!

• Who can write a book without the support of her family? Thanks to my husband, Hugh, my daughter, Cora, and her boyfriend, Will, for their monetary encouragement! They dug deep for this effort, trust me. That's what makes their gifts all that much more awesome. <3
• Thanks again to Tony Acree, as he not only partially dedicated his last book to me (The Watchers), but he wrote a review AND he wants an eBook. You know how to be a fan, Tony -- thanks!
• Vicki Bironas, owner of Fire It Up Studio in La Grange, KY, stepped up to be the first business to support my memoir. Thanks to her generous $150 gift, her shop name and location will go in the print and eBook editions of the memoir. Vicki  - MWHA! One of my best besties. 
• To my friend, Tess Elliott -- thank you for your monetary support and your encouragement. I love, especially that you comment on almost every post I write and like just about every post I contribute to my Facebook page. You're a gem, Tess. Tess is an artist and a photographer who creates toy theaters, and who is insanely in love with puppetry and art in general.
• Thank you, Melissa Crites, for your support! Melissa is the owner of Serenity Studio, LLC in La Grange, KY, and I can guarantee you that she is a superb massage therapist. She's also an artist with a focus on painting some beautiful gourds.
• Another La Grange business owner, Sue Ann Birchfield, owner of Rainy Day Resale, stepped up to support my project, too. If you'll notice at her website, her resale business is top notch and upscale -- drool-worthy, actually. =)
• And, thanks to my dear friend Joe Davenport for his support. He's been a huge supporter for a long time, to the extent that he actually dressed up like Elvis for an event I created. Joe, you're the best. <3
• Many thanks to Dr. Nurit Israeli , a psychologist and psychology professor in NY, but also a wonderful poet. Of course, that's how I met Nurit -- as a poet -- and she's an extraordinary wordsmith and observer of life. I'm so honored to have your company on this journey, Nurit!
• Then, there are the anonymous supporters. Anonymous to you, that is...I know who they are, because Indiegogo provides that information for me. I think they know how much I appreciate them, too. Much love!
• Finally, I have a supporter to thank who may not show up on the campaign site, depending upon if we can work it out. John Manning is a friend, a dance partner, a banker, and a hoot. He wants his name in the book, so we're working that out. I'm honored.

That's right --  you can contact me directly if you don't want to use your credit card or display your name or whatever is keeping you from using the Indiegogo Cancer, Caregiving, Contentious Love site. If you want to support my efforts, let me know. I'll be happy to help.

Differences Between Hospice and Palliative Care

When it comes to elderly relatives -- do you need palliative or hospice care?

It's World Hospice and Palliative Care Day, and this event provides a great opportunity to talk about the difference between hospice and palliative care. I'll be the first to admit that I didn't understand the difference between the two services until after mom was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma. I did understand hospice to a degree, as relatives had used this service prior to mom's diagnosis. The first time I really understood palliative care, however, was when mom received her first chemotherapy treatments.

After mom's failed Whipple surgery, the oncologist suggested chemotherapy to hold the cancer at bay. The doctors all told mom, without qualms, that her cancer was not "curable" and that the chemo treatments were "palliative." In other words, she would receive treatments that would stem the cancer cell growth until she could no longer take chemo. This was a "chemo for life" program, where "life" part meant that treatments would continue as long as mom could tolerate them.

There are no time restrictions in palliative care situations. Patients can receive palliative care at any stage of illness, whether that illness is terminal or not. The point behind palliative care is to provide comfort for the patient. This comfort is especially important for the patient when the the patient's disease is at its most uncomfortable.

Palliative care can be received at home, in the hospital, in a treatment center, or at a doctor's office. The fuzzy part of this type of care is that it covers a broad spectrum of diseases at various stages within that disease. The important thing to remember is that palliative care is not hospice, although hospice and palliative care go hand in hand.

Hospice is for end-of-life care, and it's all about palliative care...making the patient comfortable through various methods that range from Styrofoam wedges to make bed rest more comfortable to morphine to ease end-of-life pain. Although policy has it that hospice care is for the last six months of life, we learned that the local hospice had patients that were going on three years in treatment. On the other hand, some hospice patients barely see the oxygen tanks come through the door when they exit life.

Although hospice generally is ordered by the patient's primary-care physician* for end-of-life care, no one has a crystal ball. The practice of predicting someone's end of life sentence is based on both fact and guesses. Sometimes facts win. Sometimes guesses far surpass wildest hopes, especially when it comes to family members who don't want to lose that patient.

Interestingly, hospice couldn't begin for mom until her chemotherapy palliative care ended. That "chemo for life" program lasted as long as mom's body could tolerate the limited amount of chemo that she was taking. Since one oncologist earlier in mom's care had the guts to give us a time frame of three to six months of life without any treatment for her cancer, I had at least a base to work from after mom's chemo treatments ended. Mom's then-current oncologist must have known as well, as she ordered hospice for mom when she stopped mom's treatments, and that end to treatment came approximately six months  before mom's life ended.

Hospice provides palliative care, and that's the thrust of their services. In mom's case, however, another goal was imperative: that we try to keep mom out of the hospital. Her capacity to fight illness and infection was low, so home care was the best option. Additionally, mom wanted to die at home, and hospice made that goal a mission in mom's case.

To make a long story short, here are some major differences between hospice and palliative care:

1. Hospice services can be provided at home, where palliative services provided by medical professionals often are provided through a medical facility.
2. Palliative care knows no time restrictions, whereas hospice care is, supposedly, for the last six months of life.
3. Patients pay for palliative care the same way they would pay for any other treatment -- with cash, insurance, or other payment methods. Hospice, on the other hand, takes over the bills and everything is paid through Medicare. At least, that's the current structure in most cases. It's always good to check with your local medical facilities to understand your possibilities.

I can say nothing but good about mom's hospice care at this point, especially on a day when we honor the services provided by palliative and hospice care. The goal? To make these services better all around and as widely available as possible to people who need them.

* Primary care physician can be any type of doctor, from cardiologist to oncologist.

Who Hasn't Been Touched by Cancer?

Mom -- hoping to actually drive this Jaguar on her 60th birthday in 1994.

I've been floating between two towns during the past two years, trying my best to actually be present in my own home when I've been pouring my heart and energy into my parents' home. Caregiving takes effort. It takes money. It can take a person's soul if the caregiver isn't careful.

That's what cancer does. It eats at its host and it tries to reach out to eat everyone who cares about the cancer patient.

In both towns, I hear stories about people who have died from cancer, people who have recently been diagnosed with cancer, and people who are surviving cancer. In most cases, individuals relay those stories in a "hush hush" manner, as though to speak about cancer out loud makes that disease contagious. The survivors are a different story, because even the media wants to shout those success stories from the rooftops; but, those stories are fraught with doubt. Are the survivors really "cured," or are these cancer survivors and their families hoping against hope that that victims are in remission forever?

Who hasn't been touched by cancer? Who hasn't felt hope that cancer can be "beat" into submission? Who hasn't felt that this disease deserves only a whisper instead of a shout...shouts of anger that people of all ages are falling victim to these alterations in their DNA? People we love. People we don't even know who touch our hearts with their stories.

Who hasn't been touched by cancer? I'd like to know.