Memoir Progress Update

One rebuilt garden bed with new mulch!

The support I've received for this project so far has been wonderful. As of this writing, 43 individuals provided $1,184. This is enough money for me to pay expenses incurred during this campaign, to pay for an editor, and to pay for two days at a four-day poetry retreat in November with the Green River Writers to edit a few poems that are going into the memoir. I plan to get a lot done in those two days.

Next up -- paying for a month or two in seclusion to finish the memoir. Just to be perfectly clear, this time does not exclude regular work for clients. Instead, it is to finance travel to one of several writers' retreats (if I'm chosen), or to pay for a getaway from the chaos at home to have quiet time to finish my research and writing. My family WANTS me to leave to finish this project, so help them out! =)

In other news:

• This is my last week at dad's house. I've finished weeding and separating the flowers in mom's garden beds (all ten of them), weeded along the fence and around the trees, and had mulch delivered for the front beds. The mulch for the back beds is arriving after I leave. I used mom's new garden gloves that she purchased before she died and never used, and I poked holes in the ends of the fingers. Dad said, "I'm sure she won't mind." Despite my initial fears over tackling my mother's gardens, I think I did fine by her.
• Packing to return home includes items from around the house that dad wants me to sell. I have to put on my "impersonal" persona when conducting this work, because I feel as though I'm selling memories. On the other hand, it feels great to downsize, and I'm conducting this activity on the homefront as well so I can relieve my daughter from this task upon my death. I never realized I inherited my "hoarder gene" from mom. I've learned since mom's death how to hide that hoarding (in drawers, closets, and the attic!). I'll post more items to my Etsy shop (GoinOriginals) next week. Sending a "thank you" to my new customers at that venue!
• It appears no one has really taken me up on the contest challenge yet. Too bad! But, there's still time to compete (until November 24th!).
• It appears that folks are taking me up on my $1 birthday wish challenge at the Cancer, Caregiving, Contentious Love Indiegogo site! Wonderful! Those dollar bills add up! (hint for those who want to compete in the previously mentioned challenge -- I'm trying to help you!)
• Thanks again to Denise at Caregiving.com for offering a new space to blog about my caregiving adventures with dad. Latest post: My Fears About Leaving Dad Alone.

Since I'm busy packing and traveling over the next two days, I won't be posting anything here until Friday. Be good, take care, and be happy if you can. <3

Initial Referral Contest Leader Board

This is a screenshot of the leader board on the dashboard at 12:01 a.m. (yes, I was one minute late due to slow Internet issues). I'll post the leader board again on Friday, October 31 in the morning. You have plenty of time to sign up and gain interest -- view the referral contest information and follow the rules to win!

PS -- I'm not a contestant. =)

Some People Who Support the Arts

I'm also a fine artist; but my writing is, at the moment, far more important to me, because I feel I have a story to share that can help other caregivers. I created this oil pastel in 2007 after a visit to the Bahamas as a professor's assistant for an archaeology project on San Salvador.

It's time to catch up on all the thank you notes for folks who have supported my Indiegogo project since October 13th. I look at Indiegogo fundraisers that bring in thousands of dollars, and I realize that they're for tech products. Then, I look at Indiegogo fundraisers for the arts, and we all lag behind those tech products by thousands of dollars. Therefore, I'm so very grateful to the individuals listed below, because they see value in my ability to tell a story. They are investing in my art -- that art of memoir.

• I'm grateful to my film/documentary maker friend, Jacques Laurent. I met Jacques when he arrived in La Grange from France to film the trains that run through the town. We have been friends since, and I'm grateful that he's my first overseas supporter! (I have supporters in Canada, too -- not forgetting you! <3).
• I'm grateful to the anonymous donor who decided to support me in a huge way. Much love and many, many <3!
• I'm grateful for Amy Wellborn's support. This fine artist thanked me in person one day for my gratitude lists. I was overwhelmed, because it's rare that someone in this world will make time to thank someone in person. I'm guilty of that same lack of support for some of my friends. Love you, Amy!
• I'm so grateful to Kristi Weber, who will always be one of my favorite poets. We met in April this year during Robert Lee Brewer's Poem-A-Day challenge, and I remain sufficiently charmed by her attitude, perspective, and downright solidness in being herself. She supported me the day after she learned she finally had a job -- now, that's digging deep. <3 to you, Kristi.
• Gratitude to my long-time friend Sharon Jones -- an artist I met when living down south -- for her support. She could have bought me a rum and coke, but chose instead to support my art. Big thanks! =)
• So grateful to Ursula Powers for her support. We've known each other since the BP Gulf Oil disaster, where we tweeted against BP. Power to the people, especially through the family business, Al's Bees!
• Thanks to my buddy, Joe Davenport, for wanting so badly to push me to that $1K mark that he donated twice! You're a winner, Joe. Thanks for your support!

I also want to thank Denise at Caregiving.com for personally welcoming me into her space and offering a new channel to blog. This time, I'm blogging about the switch from being caregiver for my mother to realizing that I'm now my dad's caregiver (thanks to Denise's insight). Denise is a bright and energetic soul who is sincerely interested in all her Caregiving members. My blog, Linda's Blog, is located under "Caregiving for Parents."

Many thanks, too, to Mary Beth at Caregivers for Home. She approached me via Twitter to ask if she could write about my experience and memoir, and then asked if I would write a guest blog. Well, yes! Mary Beth's article is When Doctor’s RX is: No Hope, A Caregiver’s Journey. My article, which broaches a topic that I had to write about sooner or later. Yes, I shared this story with my husband before it was published -- Marriage and Caregiving: Letting Go, A Daughter’s Story.

So grateful to be meeting new friends and supporters in my quest to fund my art and I'm grateful to friends who have stepped up to share. If you want to fund my memoir as well, you can contribute as little as $1 or as much as you want at Cancer, Caregiving, and Contentious Love's Indiegogo campaign. A heads up on Friday -- YOU can win money by helping to spread my campaign through linkage. Learn more about my Referral Contest and, if you have questions, feel free to contact me through Twitter or Facebook. 

Michael Smith's Music Magic

Mom's banjo uke, minus strings...

About one week after mom died in June, I sent a Facebook message to friend, musician, and neighbor, Michael Smith. I attached a photo of a musical instrument I found hidden in one of mom's closets. It looked like a miniature banjo at 21 inches in length and with a seven-inch diameter head. It had two "f" holes in the resonator's back and it was branded Ferry Quality.

I know mom told me when I was much younger that she played the ukulele, but I never remember her playing one. I definitely don't remember seeing this instrument before I found it in the closet. Michael informed me that this instrument was more than a ukulele -- it was a banjo ukulele.

I searched high and low on the Internet and found little about the Ferry Quality banjo uke; but, I did discover Banjo Ukulele Haven, which details the history and value of some other banjo uke brands. Either the banjo uke mom owned is very rare or it's not in demand, but Michael seemed to like it. He encouraged me keep and preserve it by putting it in a display case. I almost took it home with me in August, but something told me to keep it at dad's house.

Fast forward to September. I am back at the folks' house, helping dad with various and sundry things. Before I left, Michele Larocque from Deep River Studio interviewed me for a book trailer that she was making for my Indiegogo fundraising project. We talked briefly about music for the video, but we were at a loss as to what to use for background sound. Mom liked all types of music -- opera, classical, gospel, folk...anything but rap. The tone of the video also needed consideration, and I thought about my choices on the way to dad's house.

I finally decided on blues, so I asked a musician friend to help me out. He didn't respond, and time wasn't on my side. Several people nudged me to use royalty-free music or to pay for a popular artist's piece, but I wanted desperately to ask someone local to help out. I know plenty of very good local musicians, so I went to Facebook to ask if anyone could help with an original piece.

I received a ton of responses over the 24 hours after I posted, but Michael was the only musician to respond with a video and an original piece -- within 24 hours! I was floored...the music was a great mix of eastern, bluegrass, and blues (yes, obviously this mix is possible), so I wanted Michael to provide the music for the video.

Unfortunately, Michele needed a longer piece for the project than the one that Michael originally produced, so I talked to him about this issue. I liked his original music and he did, too -- but after he saw the rough cut for the video, he was excited about pushing his music to another level. To make a long story short, he wrote and performed a final piece that was dedicated to his brother, Paul, who recently died from cancer.

"Paul's Song" is beautiful. Michael shared it with me after he recorded it in a local studio (All Things Music at 522 Washington Street in Shelbyville, KY). I knew Michael was a stellar musician, but I was stunned by this piece. I was honored that Michael was willing to share his music with me, and I was humbled by his inspiration.

Michael's music on the video comes in bits and pieces, and it doesn't represent the entire song as Michael wrote it. But, that's what happens with a music/audio/visual mix, and Michele, in my opinion, did a bang-up job on the video (shown at the top bottom of every page, because I'm that proud of the final product). This lack of musical continuity is sad, however, because the full rendition of "Paul's Song" could melt your heart. On the other hand, Michael still retains the original piece in all its glory, and it is up to him to decide what he wants to do with that music.

I do know that mom's banjo uke belongs to Michael. In fact, I could almost hear her voice say a resounding "Yes!" at the exact moment I realized what I needed to do with that instrument. When I return home, I will return with that Ferry Quality banjo uke and hand it -- and the accompanying "Original Guckert's Chords for the Ukulele at Sight Without Notes or Teacher" booklet -- over to Michael's care.

Michael, thank you for blessing me with your talents, skills, and love. I only hope I can do the same for you one day, friend. Cheers.

NOTE: Michael doesn't have a website, but he does give uke lessons in La Grange. If you'd like to take lessons from Michael, please message me on Facebook or Twitter, and I'll ask him to get in touch with you.

Cancer, Caregiving, Contentious Love Book Trailer...

Yeah -- well. I'm pretty stoked about the results of the trailer. Michele Larocque of Deep River finalized the work today, and it's up at the Cancer Caregiving, Contentious Love fundraising site, YouTube, and Vimeo...and, people are sharing it all over Facebook. It's a gorgeous piece of work, and Michele dreamed it all up.

The music? That's another story altogether, and I'm planning to tell you about it before the end of the week. Let's just say that I've been blessed by Michael Smith, a neighbor. He's downright genius with a big heart.

Here's the trailer:

Time to Give Thanks

I haven't thanked anyone since my October 1 post, where I thanked many artist, writer, poet, musician, and photography friends for their monetary, emotional, and physical support. So, a quick post today to catch up on all those individuals who have stepped up since the beginning of the month...

First, a huge thank you and gratitude to the authors, editors, and publishers who read my memoir excerpt and offered their words of praise and encouragement: Many thanks to Mara Eve Robbins, Kim Jacobs, Janeson Keeley, S. E. Ingraham, and Tony Acree. I've posted their reviews on this site.

If you're a blogger, author, editor, or publisher and you'd like to write a (hopefully positive) review of this memoir's excerpt, don't hesitate to contact me via Twitter or Facebook.

Now for the donors!

• Who can write a book without the support of her family? Thanks to my husband, Hugh, my daughter, Cora, and her boyfriend, Will, for their monetary encouragement! They dug deep for this effort, trust me. That's what makes their gifts all that much more awesome. <3
• Thanks again to Tony Acree, as he not only partially dedicated his last book to me (The Watchers), but he wrote a review AND he wants an eBook. You know how to be a fan, Tony -- thanks!
• Vicki Bironas, owner of Fire It Up Studio in La Grange, KY, stepped up to be the first business to support my memoir. Thanks to her generous $150 gift, her shop name and location will go in the print and eBook editions of the memoir. Vicki  - MWHA! One of my best besties. 
• To my friend, Tess Elliott -- thank you for your monetary support and your encouragement. I love, especially that you comment on almost every post I write and like just about every post I contribute to my Facebook page. You're a gem, Tess. Tess is an artist and a photographer who creates toy theaters, and who is insanely in love with puppetry and art in general.
• Thank you, Melissa Crites, for your support! Melissa is the owner of Serenity Studio, LLC in La Grange, KY, and I can guarantee you that she is a superb massage therapist. She's also an artist with a focus on painting some beautiful gourds.
• Another La Grange business owner, Sue Ann Birchfield, owner of Rainy Day Resale, stepped up to support my project, too. If you'll notice at her website, her resale business is top notch and upscale -- drool-worthy, actually. =)
• And, thanks to my dear friend Joe Davenport for his support. He's been a huge supporter for a long time, to the extent that he actually dressed up like Elvis for an event I created. Joe, you're the best. <3
• Many thanks to Dr. Nurit Israeli , a psychologist and psychology professor in NY, but also a wonderful poet. Of course, that's how I met Nurit -- as a poet -- and she's an extraordinary wordsmith and observer of life. I'm so honored to have your company on this journey, Nurit!
• Then, there are the anonymous supporters. Anonymous to you, that is...I know who they are, because Indiegogo provides that information for me. I think they know how much I appreciate them, too. Much love!
• Finally, I have a supporter to thank who may not show up on the campaign site, depending upon if we can work it out. John Manning is a friend, a dance partner, a banker, and a hoot. He wants his name in the book, so we're working that out. I'm honored.

That's right --  you can contact me directly if you don't want to use your credit card or display your name or whatever is keeping you from using the Indiegogo Cancer, Caregiving, Contentious Love site. If you want to support my efforts, let me know. I'll be happy to help.

Things People Say to People With Cancer

During my stint as caregiver to my mother, I was privileged to accompany mom on her visits to her various doctor appointments. There were many appointments; but, as mom continued to hang on to life, the appointments dwindled. Instead of explaining why those appointments began to shut down, I'll share a few quotes that I heard first-hand from mom's primary physicians and nurses:

• We didn't expect you to live this long (doctor who was treating mom)
• Cremation? Why? You're so beautiful, I thought you'd go the open casket route (nurse).
• You're still with us? (doctor who was summoned for mom's treatment for a second time within four months)
• I can't look at the cancer count. I want to sleep at night (a doctor's answer to my question about mom's cancer advancement).

You get the idea -- out of the mouths of babes scenarios, right? Except the individuals who offered their opinions were professionals. What, then, can cancer patients expect to hear from friends and relatives who aren't professional doctors or nurses?

If you know a cancer victim, please don't try to excuse yourself from making stupid remarks to that person because you're not a professional. If anything, as a friend, relative, or neighbor, you might have a bit more insight into that cancer patient and become more compassionate. At least, that's the hope.

A friend of mine found that sometimes that hope runs slim. Craig Allen has cancer, and he is a realist about his prognosis, and responses to his current treatment option drive him mad. Literally. He's taking hormone treatments that provide him with physical reactions that are similar to menopause hot flashes. When he shares this news with female listeners, they often respond with:

"Ha! Now you know what we go through."

Excuse me? Your menopause hot flashes are similar to my cancer treatments? I'm sharing a link to Craig's justifiable rant. Please read to understand how a simple statement (like "We didn't expect you to live this long") can affect a person who is dying from cancer.

Thank you.

Supporting the Arts & Letters

This is the trailer for Afterthoughts by Lynn Tincher, produced by Dark Palette Productions

I love to support artists. I have supported many writers, musicians, videographers, other authors, poets, crafters, and actors over the years, and it's been my pleasure. Often, the payback is unexpected, like when local author Tony Acree dedicated his latest book, The Watchers, to another local author, Lynn Tincher, and me. What a gift! All I did was tell him to quit editing and keep writing (advice that is difficult for me to follow, by the way -- I was throwing down the gauntlet!).

That's why I'm supporting two artists I know from the get-go with my Indiegogo fundraiser.

1. Michele Larocque is a photographer, writer, poet, and visionary. She is a friend, too. She is creating a trailer for my fundraiser at Indiegogo, and it's in its final stages. You can find her on Facebook.
2. When I was asked to find some music for that trailer, I reached out to my local musician friends. Within 24 hours, neighbor Michael Smith came up with an original track that he's modifying now to fit the trailer. I'm so blessed, because Michael, too, is a visionary and a talented musician. He teaches ukulele, but he's adept at any stringed instrument. He doesn't have a site I can point to; but, if you're a local I can provide you with his number if you want lessons.

The wonderful thing about my Indiegogo campaign is this: Other artists now are supporting me, and I'm thrilled beyond words. My gratitude is tangible...

• I'm mentioning Lynn Tincher again not only because she was a generous donor to my Indiegogo campaign, but because she's also involved in a project that is making tracks. She's creating a film from her first novel, Afterthoughts, and she's having great success with this endeavor. Please support her.
• I met another donor to my campaign, Pearl Ketover Prilik, at Robert Brewer's Poetic Asides, where we've been writing poems side-by-side for a few years now. I taught Pearl how to make a heart with ascii type, and she's been a devoted heart fan since that lesson.
• Speaking of Robert Lee Brewer, he generously offered to be a reference for my applications to writer retreats, and you can purchase his latest poetry, Solving the World's Problems, at Amazon. Michael Dwayne Smith from Mojave River Press & Review also stepped up to offer a reference, as did Kim Michele Richardson (another local), author of The Unbreakable Child and columnist at Huffington Post. Other people who offered their support include Jay Sizemore, author of Father Figures, and Sheri Wright -- a woman who offers a bagful of talent in photography, poetry, writing, and now in documentaries.
• Other donors to my campaign include Penny, who makes jewelry from mushrooms (how creative is THAT), and sells at local markets in Virginia. Another donor, who wishes to remain anonymous, also is a writer and a poet. Yet another donor, Diane, writes AND edits, and she helped me tremendously with the copy on my campaign as well as donated to my cause.

I'm blessed to be surrounded by such giving and creative people, and I haven't even tapped the surface of my well of creative friends. I am VERY blessed. If these individuals have faith in me, then you can have faith in me, too. Visit Cancer, Caregiving, and Contentious Love at Indiegogo.

How about you? Do you create? Do you support creators?

I Made the Grade on the Garden Hurdles Today

The first three plants to feel the spade.

Yesterday I started on mom's garden beds, the ones that hadn't been tended to in over two years because of mom's illness. Oh, they've been weeded, but the plants (mostly perennials) are overgrown and crowding each other out. It's not a pretty sight. So, I began by tackling the weeds in the front bed, what little were left of them. Then I stood and looked around at that bed and at the three other beds within my eyesight. I had to get serious.

To get serious with mom's gardens meant that I needed another 24 hours to bolster myself. I never, in my lifetime, could imagine myself taking a shovel to mom's beds. I never learned to cook from mom, because she said I made her too nervous in the kitchen. For the same reason, I never learned to garden from mom. I learned everything I knew from library books and from experimentation.

Mom was the Master Gardener.

This morning, I awoke and committed to a little writing. Then, I played around on Facebook and Twitter. I read a few articles and ate some yogurt. Then, I changed into my 'gardening clothes' and went to the garage. I needed talismans, so I donned my mother's old gardening shoes, her new gardening gloves (that she never wore), picked up her gardening tools and the shovel and went back to the front bed.

After pacing and eyeballing everything, I went back inside. I needed to consult with dad (can you sense a bit of procrastination here?). After he confirmed my ideas, I took the shovel, and I dug. And, I dug and I dug and I dug. I dug up all the perennials in that top half of the front bed, separated them, and replanted them. The task took two hours.

I knew what I was doing. I did. And, now I'm over those hurdles -- the hurdle of worrying about destroying mom's garden or the hurdle of her striking me dead for touching anything. It's all good. The garden and I will survive.

What I've learned about selling online, thanks to Mom

The scene at my feet this morning -- deciding between Etsy and Amazon.

When mom died, dad was anxious to clean out the house. Mom was a closet hoarder, so her house was meticulous; but, if you open a closet door or a drawer in a file cabinet -- beware! I would shudder to find a drawer that I hadn't yet tackled after her death.

Mom kept things like receipts for a carpet replacement in a house they lived in twenty years ago. Or, she would file away some fall leaves (oak) in a space between car payment receipts and recipes. She was an avid clipper -- coupons, articles, whatever -- some of her clippings made no sense. Others revealed tons of information about my mother's proclivities and dreams.

One thing mom and I had in common was our love for books. Not the same genres, but books nonetheless. Some books were gifts, and I was surprised to find the number of autographed books she collected. I must have learned from her how to handle books, too, because even her paperbacks show little to no creasing along the spine, with clean pages and very little shelf wear.

To make a long story short, I started to resell my books on Amazon a few years ago, and I managed to sustain a 100% seller rating over the years. This rating is definitely to my advantage, because I can ask for a bit more, or even an equal price, and I may sell my book before the person who has a 94% seller rating. I've learned even more lessons this go-round, as dad wants me to sell about 90% of the books that remain at their home.

1. First, if you have a beef with Amazon, don't take it up with me. Amazon sells more books all around than any other online bookseller. In fact, book sellers like Alibris also sell their books on Amazon.
2. I learned that I had to apply for a "collectible" book seller rating. In other words, if I had a first edition or first printing on my hands, I wouldn't be allowed to list that book as a collectible without Amazon's approval. Fortunately, since I already had a stellar rating, that issue was resolved quickly.
3. How do you know you have a first printing on your hands? If you're lucky, the book will list a full number line on the page where you'll also find the ISBN (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10). If you're even luckier, you'll have a book that actually states it's a first edition. Those books can make a difference between a worth of one cent and a worth of $10 or more.
4. Always use the ISBN number to find a book on Amazon to research selling point prices. If you just go by the title, you may end up with too many (wrong) listings. It can be a mess in there.
5. If the book is older than 1995 and doesn't have an ISBN or other identifying marks (like no image at Amazon), then I may choose to sell the book at my Etsy shop. I've had good luck at Etsy selling vintage books with decorative covers or with unusual topic information.
6. Buy your envelopes to mail the books in bulk, because it's cheaper. I use bubble-wrap envelopes, because the bubble wrap does protect the books. It's worth the expense, especially when the buyer notes the extra care you took and contributes to a stellar rating.

I may sound a bit clinical about this process, and that attitude is one of necessity. If I pondered every oak leaf or news clipping or book signed "with love" by the author to my mother, I'd never make it through a single day. Going through my mom's things is not pleasant, trust me. But, when I falter, I simply think of my daughter. Would I want her to go through this? No. 

So...onward.

Testing the Waters, Finding a Cause

Mom at Kure Beach, NC, 1953

I'm not sure who took this photograph of mom when she was at Kure Beach, NC, in 1953, but this photo marks a transition time in her life. She had already met dad and they would marry the day after Christmas that same year. This is one time they were apart during that year between his discharge from the Air Force and their wedding.

Mom already had several surgeries by 1953, including a broken wrist which was set wrong. The surgeons had to re-break her wrist and re-set it. She also had one ovary removed for some reason (precancerous?). Other than these issues, mom was rarely ill.

After mom died, I finally had the breathing room to learn more about cholangiocarcinoma and the causes behind this cancer. What I learned was vague at first. This type of cancer is more prevalent in Asian countries, where it is mainly caused by a common parasitic infection of the bile duct. These parasites, or liver flukes, infect people who eat food that contains this parasite. But, this risk factor is small outside Asian countries.

Other factors that can contribute to the 2,000-3,000 cases per year in the U.S. today include bile duct stones, choledochal cysts, or an ulcerative colitis that affects that entire large bowel creating what is known as primary sclerosing cholangitis (PSC, or type of inflammation of the bile duct). All of these conditions are rare, which can account for the rareness of the disease in this country. But, the numbers of people who are diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma are rising. Why?

The main culprit, in my opinion, is Thorotrast. Thorotrast is a highly radioactive contrasting dye that was used in x-rays in the 1930s, 1940s, and -- in the U.S. -- through the 1950s. Most other countries stopped using this highly radioactive agent by 1950. Patients in the U.S., however, were possibly exposed to this contrasting agent every time they had x-rays through at least the mid-1950s.

The harmful part about Thorotrast is its half-life. This radioactive chemical stays in the body for about 22 years or more. As it decays, it emits harmful alpha radiation. Interestingly enough, this chemical gravitates to the patient's liver and bile duct. Patients who ingested Thorotrast are 100% more likely than the general population to develop bile duct cancer.

There's no way to track how many patients ingested Thorotrast during its time on the market, but one source states that between two to ten million people worldwide were treated with this radioactive compound. What researchers have discovered recently is that a disproportionate number of people who have developed bile duct cancer were once treated with Thorotrast. These cancers occur, usually, decades after the initial treatment.

This delay in cancer development could easily explain the age factor in developing cholangiocarcinoma. More than two out of three patients who develop bile duct cancer are older than age 65.

Mom was 78-years-old when she was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma. She had x-rays, at least two to three of them, before this photo was taken at Kure Beach in 1953. These thoughts are disconcerting for me for a number of reasons, but mainly because she looks like she deserved better. We all deserve better.

Looking at a Plate

Fostoria Plate from Wikipedia entry on Depression Glass

"Do you remember this plate?" I asked dad this question when I cleaned out the lower drawers in the living room china cabinet. He didn't remember that plate, and neither did I. It's very similar to the plate pictured here.

There is no story with the plate, so the plate is just a plate. Mom isn't around to tell us about that plate. She can't tell us now how she obtained it, why she kept it, and particularly why she kept it in the drawers meant for special items.

I have learned enough over the past few months to recognize a Fostoria pattern, because mom seemed fond of that company's products. So I know that its resale value is moderate. But, that's all I know. Otherwise the plate means nothing to me, and I know it doesn't mean anything to dad.

I'm guilty of the same sin. I presume my daughter knows all my stories. That's quite a presumption.