I didn't see any journal entries or other information about my mother for this week in 2013 or 2014 until this morning when I delved deeper into items I saved in various folders. I found a couple notes that I want to post here so I don't forget them when it comes time to edit this whole shebang.
On January 4th, 2014, I had a sneezing cold, so I couldln't visit mom in the hospital. I think I caught the cold when we were admitting her, so staying away probably was more for my benefit than hers. I did mention that I had masks, which was an unusual thing to have before 2020.
Also on that date I was more specific as to my mother's definition of pain. I wrote, "It appears "pain" is long-term constant hurting. "Hurting" is temporary until it becomes "pain." So when my mother's doctors asked her if she was in pain, she always responded in the negative. No one bothered to ask her if she was hurting.
I said it before, and I'll say it again. My mother could be difficult. When I learned the difference between the two words for her, it made it easier for the doctors to understand. When they would ask my mother if she was in pain and she would say no, I'd look at the doctor and say, "Now, ask her if she's hurting." My interjection would anger my mother, but it helped her in the long run.
Another thing that didn't help mom was the lack of communication among her specialists. At that time, we didn't have "MyChart" or any other way to deal with multiple specialists viewing what other specialists had discovered. I was my mother's advocate, and I would inform each specialist about my mother's health history between her visits to the oncologist, the cardiologist, and the nephrologist.
Being my mother's advocate was a lesson in many things, but the main thing I learned was to love myself first. If I didn't feel loved, then I couldn't deal with my mother. She disliked having to depend upon me, too, but she did.
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